I Sure Hope I'm Ready for This

The clock says I have 8 days and about 12 hours until the marathon.  Eight and a half days until the culmination of almost three years of preparation.  I almost wish that I could say that I somehow feel different, now that it is almost here but honestly, I don't feel much different than I do every day.  While there is some angst associated with the unknown along with some "I-wish-October-20-was-here-already", there isn't any emotional change.  It's been a long, slow, sometimes painful road and I'm sure that there is more pain to come.

Sara surprised me recently by telling me that she and Pat were coming in that weekend to watch the race.  I know that Sandy and Jake will be there as well, along with Deb.  I haven't heard from Sam or Ben but even if they aren't there, I know that they will be pulling for me.  That, folks, is enough to drive me to finish the race.

I've heard all kinds of stories about finishing the marathon being life-changing, about people crying when they cross the finish line, about bucket list items being crossed off, and about it being "the most meaningful thing to ever happen in my life".  I don't think so.  Having children was meaningful.  Getting married was life changing.  Falling off a Segway made me cry.  This is a footrace.  Against no one but me.  Sure, there will be thousands of people running in the same race but I'm not running against them.  It's me against me.  I have said all along that if I can get to the finish line healthy, I'll finish.  And if I don't finish, I can do it all over again.  So.......it's one race, without expectations of anything except finishing.

Healthy is such a relative term.  Does healthy mean that I have no aches and pains?  Does healthy mean that everything works?  And what does "works" mean?  Here's the inventory:

• HEAD - Mentally, I have never been right.  But psychologically, I think I'm ready for this.
• ARMS, TORSO - Seems to be ok.  No pains other than a little lingering pain associated with the collarbone repairs.  Some numbness but nothing that I feel all the time and nothing that impacts running.
• CARDIO - When I started training, I thought this would be my downfall.  I was wrong.  My cardio is good.  During my long runs (18+ miles), I have felt fine and have had no trouble breathing or catching my breath.  
• LEGS - This is a hard one.  The knees exhibit some pain occasionally but the tendinitis that bothered  me is all but gone.  I still have some swelling in that knee but it doesn't hurt.  No ITB problems.  Claves seem to be holding up, with no  recurrence of the cramping that I had early in my training.  Within the past week, my right ankle has felt a little wonky (highly technical medical term), acting similar to my tendinitis-ed knee - pain when I first start but clearing up at a mile or two.  I am taking Advil again and will until race day.  We'll see.  My feet feel like pancakes after an especially long run but I expect that. 

One of the interesting things that I've learned from training is that regardless of what the body tells you, the mind controls everything.  If I can find that happy place where my mind controls everything and I can get lost in thought, I'll be fine.  If I listen to my body, it won't be a good experience.  If you have never run a long distance, you won't understand what I'm talking about.  Trancelike is the best description that I can give you.  One minute, you're at the 10 mile mark and the next thing you consciously remember, you're 5 or 10 miles farther along.  The best analogy that I can give is what happens when you talk to other people in the car while driving.  Suddenly, you're there and you don't remember any of the stuff you passed along the way.

This is the middle of the taper period, so runs have been about every other day.  I probably did a foolish thing last Saturday by running 3 miles, competing in a small 5K and then running home.  I look at it as a last hard workout.  It did wonders for my confidence since I did relatively well (11th overall, first in age group but there were only 100 runners).  This week and next is really light, with a couple of 5-8 milers and my last long run being Saturday at 10 miles.

All in all, this has been a fun trip.  Having a goal is always good and damn, it sure has been a goal.  I don't know if I'll post between now and race time.  If not, see you on the other side!