The Thrill is Gone

It will be three weeks tomorrow since the marathon, the raison d'etre of my running for the past 3 years, and I am, in my humble estimation, completely physically healed.  Next weekend, Mike Slade and I have the KC Northface Challenge Half-Marathon and on Thanksgiving, Sandy, Jacob (maybe) and I are running a 5K.  Both of these "races" will be for fun, not time.

The reason I mention this is that, for the past 3 years, all of my training was pointed toward a marathon.  With every step, my thoughts were pointed toward finishing that event.  Every workout, every rest day, every meal was geared toward the successful completion of 26 miles, 385 years.  So by now, you probably know that I finished the marathon.  The shine of that achievement has worn off, though.  Yep, it's done, I've got the medal, my name is registered as a finisher.  The self-congratulatory  mentions are over.  It's time to move on.  But to what?

Therein lies the rub.  Is there a need for a goal in running?  Often during the prep for the marathon, I had one of those days when running was it's own reward.  I enjoyed the effort for the sake of the effort, not the sake of the goal.  I won't get all existential on you.  If you've never felt it, you might not get it.  But occasionally, once in a while, the satisfaction of being able to run, just for the sake of running, was enough.  Those days, when the run was the goal, were the best and continue to be the best.

By now, if you have read any of this self-help manual (and it's not for anyone else's help except my own), you will realize that competition has, for the past 57 of my 57 years, ruled my life. Grades (I generally lost those races), business career, track in high school and college, "running" for election to the school board - all of those things were about competition. The competition of the past few years was internal and personalized to me alone, but it was competition nonetheless.  What I find missing, at least for the moment, is some level on which to be competitive with myself.

I don't believe that being competitive is a bad thing.  Sometimes, the manifestation of competitiveness in behaviors is a bad thing but socially acceptable competitive behavior is natural (survival of the fittest kind of stuff - go see Bushmen of the Kalahari again).  I have seen lots of examples of negative competitive behavior on the baseball field while umpiring, exhibited by players (few examples) and coaches and parents (too many examples).  I have experienced negative competitiveness of a different sort in my professional life and during elections (don't get me started on THAT subject.  When did it become OK to tear down your opponent without offering your brilliant alternative?).  I have also experienced positive competitiveness that has provided us with cures for disease, inventions that dramatically changed our lives, and solutions to problems that made this a better place. Competition is good, appropriately self-managed.

All of this leads me to my own personal dilemma - what's the next challenge?  Is it physical?  Do I aim for another marathon, with time being the opponent?  I am planning to run again for School Board (election is in April).  Will that provide the needed fodder for my competitive juices (assuming that I have an opponent and don't run unopposed again)?

I'll take all suggestions.  Thoughts?